Trying to keep a sense of wonder

I have always been a morning person, everything is so fresh and quiet; it is generally the time when I feel God’s presence most distinctly. I realize that God is present at other times. I more closely pay attention in the morning. Over the years, I’ve welcomed each day in a variety of ways. The past few years, my favorite way is to sit on our deck early in the morning with a pot of tea or coffee, a good book, and our dogs.

Unfortunately I failed the test of being born a trust fund baby so I must work. Consequently, I don’t get to sit around on the deck enjoying life during the week. I find solace where I’m able. An inadequate replacement, but one I still enjoy, is the daily drive to work. I drive along the river and I’m always amazed at the things I see.

This morning, for instance, I saw several birds both big and small, 3 people exercising on the riverside walking trail, a border collie, and two white tail deer. I was most intrigued by the dog and the deer.

I love most dogs but border collies, with their distinctive gait and striking coats, are particularly beautiful. They are also extremely loyal and, when well trained, are amazing herders The dog I saw this morning was chasing birds on the golf course that I drive by each morning. A man was walking a few yards behind the dog. I presume he is the dog’s owner. Regardless, they were both enjoying life. The dog’s enthusiasm was infectious.

The first of the two deer crossed the road about a quarter of a mile in front of my car. Because of the distance and because it was running quickly, I wasn’t sure it was a deer. I’m not sure what I thought it might be, maybe a big dog? As I approached, though, the other one came out of a wooded area on the side of the road next to the river, crossed the road, and disappeared up the hill on the other side. Every time I see a deer disappear into the trees as the one this morning, I am utterly astounded. The camouflage they employ is so perfect that I often let my senses overpower my reason and wonder, usually only for a second, if I saw the deer at all. It is as if they are ghosts and is such a beautiful display of God’s creation that I am always awestruck.

Today’s Irritant

I had a silly, silly argument today. There is no other way to describe it. My counterpart and I argued about whether a document should be called the First Amendment or the First Addendum.

I prepared the amendment and sent it to him for review. Completing the amendment should have been very simple. Both parties had agreed on the principle terms. Accordingly, I was surprised when he called to discuss it. I picked up the phone and he introduced himself and told me why he was calling.

I said, “Okay, what do we have to discuss. It’s straight forward and everyone has agreed to the terms.”

He said, “Well, let’s talk about the title of the document.”

“What about it?”

“I think we ought to change it to read First Addendum rather than the First Amendment.”

“That’s pretty funny. Seriously, do you have any concerns?”

“I am serious.”

“Seriously? Why?”

“The term amendment means that something in the original document is being changed. The term addendum means that something is being added to the original document. Because we are adding terms, it clearly should be called an addendum.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

At this point, I was about to lose my mind because arguing over the title of a document is ridiculous on so many levels that I find it difficult to think about without my blood pressure rising. Attorneys often argue over the nuances of words because they are important to the meaning, and later interpretation, of a document. The title, though, is technically not binding on anyone; the text of the document is what is important. Still, he was technically correct in his explanation. In order to get a transaction completed, I normally wouldn’t argue about something I consider unimportant. Because he was willing to argue in this instance, however, I also decided to argue.

I responded by saying, “That is an interesting perspective. I do agree that, depending on your perspective, the words could be interpreted differently. I would argue, though, that, while the word addendum is probably more limiting and therefore maybe more specific, the word amendment is generally interpreted widely enough to include items added to the original document.”

“I don’t think so. We need to change it. I have already explained my reasoning.”

As a negotiating tactic, people often take ridiculous positions and, later, will give on their position if there is something they want and consider more important. I could not see that he wanted something else more and, since I really did not find the change that important, I agreed to make the change he requested. Before I did, though, I added, “As we were talking, it occurred to me that the U.S. Constitution includes amendments and not addendums. Most of the amendments add rights to U.S. citizens that were not included in the Constitution itself. Isn’t it true that, by your reasoning, the founding fathers should also have included a provision, not only for amending the Constitution, but also for making addendums to it?”

He didn’t answer.

Random Thoughts

Happy Birthday today to Norah Jones. She turns 27 today.

Is anyone else as confused about the possible immigration reform as I am? I’ve found that I agree with both sides of the argument depending on who is presenting it. I normally find it easy to form a political opinon but I haven’t found an unbiased source to really consider the issues on this one.

A few months ago, I read Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas and thoroughly enjoyed it. I understand why Bono’s and U2’s earnestness can be tiring at times. But using their fame to accomplish something decent is what has always appealed to me about them. When I read the book, I wrote down four things Bono said that I liked. I read a post today on another blog that reminded me of one of the quotes. Here are the four I wrote down; I’ll let you guess which one I was reminded of:

What’s always bothered me about fundamentalists is that they seem preoccupied with the most obvious sins.

The religious experience is a very pure one in my opinion. But unless it’s met with a lot of rigor, it’s very hard to control.

I really believe we’ve moved out of the realm of karma and into one of grace.

Taste is the enemy of a good death.

Finally, I’ve read two posts this week that I have really appreciated. I’ve said this before but thanks to Jennie for inspiring me to join the blogging community. If I hadn’t joined, I would never have read this. I found it particularly interesting on both a cultural and linguistic level. Except through her blog, I don’t know Ashley but I thoroughly enjoy her blog and, if you don’t read it, I recommend it.

As a bit of warning this is a little on the disgusting side at times but it’s hilarious. Again, I don’t know Kevin except through his blog but I enjoy it. He can be serious but he also has a great sense of humor.

Ten Years

In June, Jennifer and I will have been married for ten years. It’s cliche to say this but I honestly cannot believe we’ve been married that long; it seems like yesterday. I’ve loved every minute even the inevitable, although relatively rare, times that we have had disagreements.

I mention it now because, yesterday, I bought tickets and reserved a hotel room for a week in Japan in October. Because neither of us have been, over a year ago we decided to go somewhere in Asia to celebrate our 10th. I’m not sure why we settled on Japan. The choice is probably rooted in the fact that Japan offers both ancient cultural sites and ultra modern attractions. Because of Jennifer’s school schedule, October worked out as the best time. Althought the trip is several months away, I’m really excited.

Does Your Dog Bite?

In the Early evening a couple of weeks ago, I was checking my email when I heard the doorbell ring. I was expecting Jason; he was coming to our house to hang out for a while. I didn’t rush to the door because I expected Jennifer, who was watching television on the couch, to tell him to come in. After a few seconds of the dogs barking, I realized that she did not plan to do that. I got up and walked to the living room. As if I had not figured it out, she pointed at the door to indicate that someone was waiting outside.

When I opened the door, while fighting off our dogs amid their excitement of seeing someone other than Jennifer or me, I found a woman I did not recognize standing on our porch.

I said, “I’d invite you in but it’ll be better if I come out.”

She looked at the dogs with a wary eye and said, “I think so.”

I stepped outside and introduced myself. She did the same and told me that she lives a couple of doors down the street. After living in our house for almost three years, it is probably shameful that I had not met her but we do not generally socialize with neighbors. Before we moved to Little Rock, our next door neighbor in Bentonville visited more than we liked. Usually it was to bring us fresh vegetables from his garden, often potatoes or tomatoes but sometimes squash or cucumbers. I always thought he was nice but he gave Jennifer the creeps and Zoie, our 8-year-old lab/golden retriever mix, never liked him either. She always growled at him. I have never known another person who Zoie disliked. I am uncertain Zoie has an ability to judge people’s souls but, along with Jennifer’s general disdain, I took her concern to heart. The whole time we lived in our previous house, though, he continued to visit, apparently unaware of his not being welcome.

After she introduced herself, she asked, “Do your dogs stay outside?”

I wondered why she would ask because she had just seen them inside our house. I also thought that it really was none of her business. Still, I answered, “They go in the back yard when they need to go outside. While my wife and I are at work and at night they stay inside. Why?”

Ending with a question, left her the opening she was awaiting and she said, “Well I’ve lived here for thirty years and we got a dog when we first moved here and the first thing we did was to build a fence because, you know, if you love your animals then you take care of them and keep them inside or in a fence but you know how it is and sometimes they can get outside the fence when you aren’t home or, even if you are, if you are washing dishes or cleaning house or doing something else because you just can’t pay attention to them all the time. I say that because all we’re just trying to find out is if your dogs have had their shots…”

When she said the word shots, our short-lived friendship was over; I interrupted her and asked, “Why do you care?”

She pointed to the street in front of our house and said, “Well, you see, yesterday a long time friend of mine was bitten right out…”

I interrupted her again and said unequivocally, “It wasn’t our dogs. They were inside all day except when they went in the back yard a couple of times. Thanks for stopping by.”

She clearly did not believe me and continued, “All we’re just trying to find out is if your dogs have had their shots because my friend, you know, is an older lady and she doesn’t want to take the shots and the doctor told her that she’ll have to take the shots if she doesn’t get the vet records for the dog and, you know, it’s hard on an older person to get those shots, I know I wouldn’t want to take them at my age because it’s hard to even go to the doctor and, while I know that your dogs were up all day, sometimes dogs get out, they dig or there are holes in the fence or something.”

Having made her point, she stopped her verbal stream of consciousness. I looked at her cane and considered the effort it took for her to walk to our house. I also thought about her friend and the fact that I would not want to get rabies shots either. Both made me commiserate with her slightly. As I was about to say something else, Sadie, our four-year-old beagle, barked as she does when she finds something particularly interesting but also frustrating. The bark is long and drawn out, almost a bellow. I have heard her employ it most often when she is chasing Zoie or me around the house if one of us has her favorite rope chew toy. The whole time we had been standing on the porch talking, I think Sadie had wanted to come outside and the suspense had finally gotten the best of her. I tried not to even smile but I laughed out loud for a second before I regained my composure.

I knew without a doubt that neither Zoie nor Sadie had bitten anyone. They were inside most of the day except when Jennifer and I were home. Also, they are not the biting types. I am certain that if Zoie were injured or cornered in certain situations, she would bite in self-defense but I doubt that Sadie would ever bite anyone in any situation. To charge out of a yard and randomly attack someone is completely out of the question for either of them.

In an effort to bring the confrontation to some closure, I asked, “What did the dog look like?”

She said, “My friend said, we’ve been friends for a lot of years you know, that it was a medium size dog with brown spots. Now I wouldn’t have bothered you if this wasn’t really important, we’ve been friends for a lot of years and I’ll be the first to say that all we’re just trying to find out is if your dogs have had their shots because my friend, you know, is an older lady and she doesn’t want to take the shots and the doctor said…”

I interrupted again, “Yes, I understand. Our dogs have had their shots but it wasn’t either of our dogs. They were both inside all day and your description doesn’t match either of them.”

I do not believe she was ever satisfied with my explanation but Jennifer came outside and explained everything that we had already discussed. Jennifer’s manor was probably more believable and not as gruff. Also and in spite of not really socializing with neighbors, we have seen several of them walking their dogs and told the woman where some other neighbors live who also have dogs. I felt a little guilty for giving up our neighbors but, armed with the knowledge, she turned to go. She asked if I would mind helping her down the couple of stairs that lead to our yard. I offered her my arm. She grasped it with not much strength, leaned on her cane, steadied herself with my arm, and stepped cautiously down the stairs. I offered to walk with her all the way to her car but she said something about not putting me out any more than she already had. Probably unbelievably, I assured her that she had not bothered us and told her to have a nice day.

In the end, I wanted to help but I did not know how. I suppose I could have canvassed the neighborhood, asking dog owners if their animal was terrorizing old women in front of our house. I am certain that exercise would have been an astounding success. I respected our neighbor’s veracity, especially her desire to help her friend, but in the end I didn’t do anything except watch her drive to another house.

Nevermore

I stop by the BBC News website nearly every day because I like to get a perspective of goings on from a source outside the U.S. A few weeks back, there was an article about the ravens at the Tower of London. I forget the exact history of the Tower but I do know that William the Conqueror ordered the first permanent structure built on site sometime around the year 1100. The ravens at the Tower have been on site for much of the Tower’s history and, legend holds, that if they leave the Tower then the British Crown will fall.

When we were there, over a year ago now, it occurred to me that the British might be cheating a bit because they clip the wings of the ravens and bed them down in a wire cage on the Tower grounds. They also keep them well fed with raw meat. Even if they wanted to leave the free meal, they’d have a hard time going anywhere with the clipped wings.

Anyway, the article on the BBC website explained how the ravens have been moved inside out of fear from bird flu. I guess the aforementioned precautions don’t do much good against disease. This month’s Smithsonian has an article that basically recaps the one I read on the BBC website. I find it all very interesting because they are so supersitious about the ravens. I also find it a little sad because the birds, apart from the clipped wings and hand feeding, arouse such strong feelings in humans.

They are huge as compared to the blackbirds I’ve seen in Arkansas. I took several pictures of one of them when we were there. I tried to get it next to a person or something else to provide some perspective but, unfortunately, my subject wouldn’t cooperate. Here is the best of the lot:

Movies, movies everywhere

I’ve seen three movies over the past two days.

Just after work yesterday, Jennifer and I saw Inside Man. I am not a huge fan of Denzel Washington and, while he was definitely the star, he did an adequate job. I thought it was well directed by Spike Lee. I would probably describe it as predictable. It was filmed, edited, and scored in such a way that it reminded me of a classic Hollywood heist movie so I didn’t mind knowing where it was going.

Early this afternoon, I went with Jason to see 16 Blocks. It was pretty much a brainless, popcorn munching action movie. Fun but no real substance. Mos Def is, in my opinion, a very capable actor. I enjoyed Bruce Willis’ turn as an aging cop. It was enjoyable overall.

I watched Junebug tonight on DVD. Of the three, it is definitely the best movie. A man and his wife of only six months return to his native North Carolina from their home in Chicago. The movie deals with the homecoming and how he doesn’t relate to his hometown or, in many ways, his family because he has changed since leaving the small town in which he was raised. It was thought provoking in many ways and highlighted the urban/rural tension that exists in America. I recommend it.

Deep Red Bells and the Moon

I am bewitched by Neko Case.

Last weekend, I bought Blacklisted her 2002 solo album. I CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO IT!

I’ve been a part time New Pornographers fan for some time and always especially like the songs that feature Case. When she recently released the solo Fox Confessor Brings the Flood, it got great reviews. I figured I would give it a go since I like her Pornographers work. When I went to Barnes and Noble, they didn’t have Fox so I got Blacklisted on a bit of a lark. Love it unlike any new cd I’ve purchased in a long time. I love the whole album but I am especially obsessed with Deep Red Bells and I Wish I was the Moon.

From Deep Red Bells:

Where does this mean world cast its cold eye
Who’s left to suffer long about you
Does your soul cast about like an old paper bag
Past empty lots and early graves
Those like you who lost their way
Murdered on the interstate
While the red bells rang like thunder

Forbidden City

I ate lunch today at Forbidden City in Park Plaza Mall. We were going to eat at Fantastic China where, I believe, the food is superior. When we arrived at Fantastic there were no tables available. I love everything about Fantastic except their seating system when they are busy; there isn’t a good waiting area and they seem to not care how long you wait.

Not the point. I was, in the end, glad we went to Forbidden City because we had the best waitress ever. If you’ve been there, you, as I had, have probably seen her. Today was the first time she waited on us. In retrospect, I wish I had looked at the receipt for her name, but I didn’t. If you are familiar with the restaurant, she is the Asian lady who, as my grandmother would have said, is all dolled up. She has a mass of curly, permed hair that she wears on top of her head, a fair amount of make up (but not too much), and clearly manicured fingernails.

Her physical appearance, though, wasn’t as impressive as her manner. When we sat down, she quickly greeted us with a booming, “Hi, how are you today?” Before I could answer she rapidly fired off, “What would you like to drink?” After we both answered, she started to bustle off to fill our drinks. Having already stopped at one restaurant, I feared being late for a 1:30 meeting and stopped her by asking if it was okay if we order. She smiled and said, “Suuuuuuurrrrrrrre. I like it when people know what they want.”

She was spunky and joyous, generally enjoying life.

It’s All Gone Pete Tong

I know very little about the world of DJs but I do find the subculture interesting. I am especially intrigued by the huge raves in Europe and the celebrity status given popular DJs. There is a clear talent to playing and mixing the right music. It’s not necessarily a talent that Americans appreciate.

I watched It’s All Gone Pete Tong this past Sunday night. It’s about a fictional English DJ, Frankie Wilde, who completely loses his hearing at the height of his popularity (Pete Tong is an actual, famous DJ). The movie is a sort of mockumentary/biopic and purports to be based on a true story, although it isn’t. The movie follows Wilde’s struggles as he initially is in denial about his hearing loss and then how he deals with it after he accepts it. The beginning focuses on the DJ lifestyle; I found it a bit trying. But the opening is a relatively small portion of the movie and, overall, I found it entertaining, amusing, and even a bit touching. I recommend it.

Welcome Spring

So Spring is here? The first two days have, in my little corner of the world, seemed more like Winter. I love the transition, though. Before Christianity found its way to Ireland, my pagan ancestors celebrated the renewal of life on earth that accompanies Spring on the vernal equinox. Thinking about that today, I considered the ways I’ve traditionally marked Spring.

Growing up, I was always overjoyed at the thought of rain and warm weather bringing the growth of grass. New grass meant that the cows on my parents’ farm would be self sufficient for a while and feeding hay wouldn’t be necessary for several months. I have a deep admiration for farmers but I never liked it and was glad when I left it behind for college. I was amazed at the number of people from my high school who attended college and majored in agricultural business or animal husbandry with the intent of returning to the farm life.

In high school, Spring meant baseball season. In my opinion, there isn’t a sport that is more mentally challenging than baseball. There is such strategy involved in playing and managing a good game. My baseball career pretty much ended when pitchers started throwing curve balls regularly. I could never hit a curve. Even though I don’t follow professional baseball like I did a few years ago, I still get a little excited about spring training. Go Cardinals, I’m proud that you made the league championship series last year but a World Series win is really what it’s all about.

During college, my friends and I generally took a weekend camping trip to the Buffalo River sometime during Spring. We always had a great time exploring caves, hiking, floating, eating bad food, laughing at one another, and drinking too much beer. Some of my favorite memories from college are from those trips. I find it hard to believe that nearly ten years have passed since most of them.

Spring also meant spring break at college. After Jennifer and I started dating, we cherished any extended breaks because, during the semester, we were four hours apart by car. Weekends didn’t make amends for the time we otherwise spent away from one another. The first spring break we spent together was somewhat of a whim. She had decided to use her week off to visit her mother and brother in Florida. Even though we had not been dating that long, she impulsively called to ask if I wanted to go with her. I decided to go. It was a great trip. Taking a trip with someone is, in my opinion, a microcosm of an entire relationship. Our trip was no different, we got to know one another much better and had a good time in the process.

Most years, Jennifer and I continue the tradition of taking a trip during Spring, though, to save vacation time for later in the year, it’s generally only for a long weekend. My friends and I sometimes still try to take a weekend camping trip. As we spread out across the country, the trips have become less frequent and have had fewer attendees. Spring has good memories for me, though, and I believe will continue to provide good experiences and memories in the future.

Winter, I bid you adieu. Spring, I welcome you with open arms!

Frodo and W?

One day I was stuck in traffic with a good friend. I looked around at all the nearest cars and said, “I wish the people around us at least had some bumper stickers for a bit of entertainment.” He responded by saying, “I don’t want to read the opinions of others when I’m in my car.”

I’m just the opposite. I marvel at the different sorts of bumper stickers. I think many of them are intended solely as a statement of individualism. I think some are intended solely as entertainment; I generally do not find them that entertaining. Many, though, are a statement of politics, religion, or a philosophy. Those are the kind I like. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t think bumper stickers are necessarily an appropriate or an adequate format for such statements. I do think that if someone goes to the trouble of putting it on their car, the second most expensive purchase many people will make in their lives, then they clearly find it important on some level. I never remember them for very long but I try to remember the ones that I find amusing or pithy.

I definitely have political opinions on nearly any topic. I appreciate good political humor, though, no matter who or what is the target of the joke. Lately, because of the general political climate, it seems that all the good barbs are directed at W or the Republican Party. I think people’s memories are generally short and forget that, a few years ago, Clinton was the butt of most political humor.

I intend that as a bit of preface because all the good bumper stickers I’ve seen lately poke fund at W. I’ll willingly post some that go the other way if I see any that I like. All that to say: Jennifer saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, “Frodo failed, Bush has the ring.” I laughed when she told me about it.

V for Vendetta

I went to see V for Vendetta yesterday with Jennifer and Jason. I met them at the theater because Jennifer was working until just before it started and Jason had to go to work just after it was over.

When I arrived, I bought nachos and a Diet Coke for me and a bottled water for Jennifer. I always marvel at the irony of drinking Diet Coke with something like nachos. Movie nachos are, however, are one of my favorite vices. I love the fake cheese with jalepenos.

After my purchase, I was still a few minutes early so I found good seats for the three of us. After I sat down, I called Jennifer to be certain she knew which theater. She was on her way. Jason showed up shortly. He had also bought nachos. He sat down just as the previews were starting and said dryly, “N for Nachos.” I laughed out loud. It wasn’t exceedingly funny in itself but his timing and delivery were perfect.

The Movie:

I think that everyone should see it and think critically about it. It is much more political than I expected. It does have some exciting action sequences but, being based on a comic book, it is not as action oriented as I expected. The dystopian near future that is created is familiar for anyone who has read 1984. The oppressiveness of the society, however, is not so emphasized as to be tiring. I did find irony in the fact that John Hurt, who portrays Winston Smith in the 1984 adaptation of Orwell’s classic, plays the Big Brother-like supreme chancellor in V.

Conservative critics have charged the movie with several isms, including moral relativism, and glorifying anarchism and terrorism. I disagree with the critics. My opinion is that the movie supports a free society with a government run by the people.

It’s true that the title character encourages the people to rise up against the fascist government. Because individual freedoms are utterly ignored, there are times when such revolution becomes necessary. I thank God that, in the U.S., the founding fathers had the prescience to create a government in which power transfers peacefully.

While V never suggests what sort of government should replace the fascist one, he also never suggests that there shouldn’t be a government. In the movie, the charge of anarchy comes from the Chief Inspector who is trying to catch V and obviously has a slanted view. I personally think the post revolution government isn’t addressed because forming governments doesn’t provide good narrative; revolution makes better movies.

Whatever you make of it politically, see it and form your own opinions.

The Dreamers

I just watched The Dreamers on dvd. It was released sometime in 2005. I intended to see it in the theater but missed it.

It is set in Paris during the 1960s student protests and focuses on the co-dependent relationship of a brother and sister who befriend an American college student. The three become acquainted because of their mutual love of movies. Among other things, they recreate scenes from classic movies. The writer did a good job of writing the scenes into the narrative in such a way that it felt natural and kept the pace moving; they were just enjoying each other’s company and remembering movies they love. I obviously didn’t experience Paris then but, watching the movie, I felt as if I were transported back to the era. I also could appreciate how much the friends enjoy cinema. I thoroughly enjoyed it. If you decide to see it, be prepared for some explicit sex scenes.

An open letter

Dear Mr. Wal-Mart,

What am I to do with you? We have such a tumultuous relationship. I pretended to work for you all those black years and you pretended to pay me. You pretended to control my life and I let you think you did. Maybe I was the one mistaken. As I walked to my car at the end of my last day working for you, I thought, “I’ll never shop at a Wal-Mart again.” I started my car and purposefully played Radiohead’s Exit Music. I was overjoyed as I pulled onto I-540 South, the music dribbling out of my car’s speakers. I thought it was the end of my relationship with you.

Now I feel like Al Pacino in Godfather 3 because you keep pulling me back with your low prices and your unbelievable convenience. I can’t help coming back even though, as I pull out of your parking lot with a carload of groceries, I feel dirty. I’m an addict. I’ve tried Target but all that red just makes me angry. Besides, when I go to Target I still have to stop at the grocery store. Stupid inconvenience.

I know your stuff doesn’t last. That’s not why I come see you. I want cheap and convenient. I don’t care where the raw material comes from, where it was manufactured, or how many barrels of oil you burned getting it to me. I don’t even expect many items to be assembled; I know it’s easier and cheaper for you to ship it in a million pieces in a box. I do ask, however, that things work properly when I put them together.

I bought a fan at one of your Supercenters this past weekend. I spent more time than I wanted putting it together. When I plugged it in and started it up, it blew like a champ but it also rattled like a champ. It’s a brand new fan. I know it’s not user error; I pulled out the directions and followed them cautiously. I even decided to read the English version instead of the Mandarin.

I haven’t decided if I’m going to bring it back to you or not. I know you guarantee my satisfaction but, while I’m not satisfied, I’m just not sure I want to put another one together. The assembly is exactly why I’m writing. I am certain that an employee could have dropped the one I have before I bought it. If you will agree to find out and make him or her work through a lunch break assembling another fan, I’ll mail you the serial number to assist in your investigation. After the new one is assembled, I’ll bring you the one I have and we can swap them. I think it’s a great idea because everyone wins. You will have a happy customer and I don’t have to assemble another fan.

Hugs and Kisses.

Why No Exit

“After Michelangelo died, someone found in his studio a piece of paper on which he had written a note to his apprentice, in the handwriting of his old age, ‘Draw, Antonio, draw, and do not waste time.’”

From The Writing Life by Annie Dillard

If you haven’t seen Life as a House, I highly recommend it. It is sad but, at the same time, funny and inspiring. I usually don’t appreciate inspiring in a movie. When someone says that a movie they saw was inspiring, I immediately think overly affected and overly acted. I do not feel that way about Life as House.

The movie deals with death, the part of life which, in western society especially, most people view objectively and intellectually understand it as something that happens to all people but often do not subjectively apply to themselves. It Specifically focuses on the quickly approaching death of a middle aged architect, portrayed by Kevin Kline, and how the knowledge of his death impacts his life and the time he has left. The movie posits that, in a sense, he is lucky because he knows he will die soon and he has the luxury of spending quality time with those he loves most.

One of his main goals in the time he has left is to repair the relationship with his estranged adolescent son, portrayed by Hayden Christensen (in contrast to his stoic turn as Anakin Skywalker, he is emotionally fragile but believable). My favorite scene in the movie comes after the father has had a fair amount of success in rebuilding the relationship and the son discovers his father’s impending death. I don’t now recall the exact dialogue but the son is understandably upset and angry that his father is dying. He expresses the anger poorly by accusing the father of rebuilding the relationship merely because he is dying. His father’s response is, “We’re all dying, I just got moved to the front of the line.”

I think that line has more truth to it than any other I’ve ever heard in a movie. None of us know what the future holds for us or how much time we’ll be allowed. Anne Lamott describes it in Bird by Bird by saying that we are all on the same bus with the same final destination; however and whenever, we are all going to come to the end of this life.

I applied the intellectual knowledge of death to my own life when I was twenty-four. At that time, I was attending law school with a young man who had just served two years active duty in the air force. One day in a pick up basketball game he planted his foot to change direction and felt an extreme sharp pain in his hip. When he arrived at the hospital, the x-ray revealed that he had broken his hip. The doctors were immediately and gravely concerned because young people, in apparently good health, do not generally break their hips outside of some trauma. Further studies revealed that he had stage four bone cancer. Until the day he broke his hip, he didn’t have a clue that he was sick. In the middle of that afternoon, his life took a quick, tragic turn. After dropping out of law school and a short struggle with the disease, he died a few months later.

I never knew him well but happened to work with his fiancée. Before he died, I would ask her about him periodically and I was always struck by her positive attitude. I know she felt pain inside but for whatever reason, she chose not to show it, even when he died. It was brave of her but I was puzzled by it. One day I asked her how she was able to maintain such apparent joy. She responded that they were viewing each day as a blessing, making the most of it and enjoying it together.

Her response was exactly what I needed to hear because, when I heard about his cancer, I was scared. He was a young man. Young people are not supposed to have life threatening illnesses. For the first time in my life, I thought it could just as easily have been me. Her response made me realize that every day is in fact a gift and I better make the most of it. In the daily grind of life, sometimes it’s hard to remember but I try. Mostly, I try to be thankful for those I love, to be thankful for other blessings in my life whether they be small or great, and to not be wasteful with my time.

About the time my acquaintance from law school died, I was going through a Hemmingway phase and was reading For Whom the Bell Tolls. In it, Papa describes death as a passageway with no exit. I think it is a succinct but lyrical way to describe it. Whether it is appropriate or not, I now associate his description with my practical philosophy of daily life.

Turtle Steak Anyone?

Early the next morning Abraham got up and…looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, toward all the land of the plain, and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace. Genesis 19:27-28

As I was driving home for lunch today, I almost ran over a turtle that was in the middle of the road and was crossing toward the oncoming traffic lane. I thought at first it was a large flat rock and thought the middle of the road was a strange place for it. As I swerved around it, I realized it was what my father refers to as a snapping turtle. I’ve also heard them called alligator turtles. I’ve seen them my whole life from time to time, especially crossing the dirt road in front of my parents house during the summer, searching for a pond not yet empty from lack of rain. I’ve even caught a few while fishing in the large stock pond Dad maintains near the back border of his land; it never dries up because it is large compared to most stock ponds.

When I realized it was a turtle, I was relieved that I had swerved. Even though it would have been unintentional, I would have felt bad if I had killed it. My relief made me consider the times I used to hunt squirrel and deer, something that I now find reprehensible. I’m not morally opposed to hunting or killing animals; I definitely enjoy a good steak from time to time. I just personally don’t want to kill anything.

My relief quickly turned to fear when I realized that the turtle had made it into the other lane and was endangered by the Ford F150 quickly moving its way. A smashed turtle is a waste, they are such interesting creatures and I cannot imagine turtle steak would be tasty. The truck had passed me by the time I understood the danger and, in any case, I wouldn’t have had the nerve to waive the truck down. I merely did what we all do, I drove onward hoping for the best.

When I was a child and heard the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and my Sunday school teacher told us about Lot’s wife turning to a pillar of salt because she looked back when God had commanded them not to watch the destruction, I always thought, “NO WAY!!!! I would NEVER look back!” A random turtle in Central Arkansas being smashed by a Ford is hardly the same thing as God almighty raining down fire and brimstone on humans. Still, I think today I knew how Lot’s wife felt. Some part of me wanted to look back and make sure the turtle made it across, even though I was sure it wouldn’t make it.

Whether or not you think the Bible is literal history, metaphorical, or a complete load of crap, you have to admit that the story of Sodom and Gomorrah would make a great movie. Among other things, it discusses faith, life, death, sex, betrayal, moral imperative, and divine intervention. Think about how some big action director like Michael Bay would film the fire and brimstone scene, it would undoubtedly be the climax (that isn’t an endorsement of Bay, incidentally, but he would make that portion visually pleasing). We could all sit and watch it with salt from popcorn on our fingers with no fear of turning into a pillar of it. Exciting stuff.

As for the turtle, it crossed safely.

Current Playlist

River – Natalie Merchant
Deathly – Amee Mann
Neighborhood #1 – The Arcade Fire
Taxman – The Beatles
Scarecrow – Beck
Comfort of Strangers – Beth Orton
Big Time Sensuality – Bjork
There’s More to Life – Bjork
MLK – U2
Salome – U2
Fast Cars – U2
The Lower the Sun – Tom Vek
Silence is Easy – Starsailor
So Says I – The Shinns
King of Sorrow – Sade
What’s the Frequency Kenneth – REM
Glory Box – Portishead
Simonize – Pete Yorn
Innocent – Our Lady Peace
Righteously – Lucinda Williams
Say Something – James
Galileo – Indigo Girls
The Little Acorn – Fruit Bats
Evil and a Heathen – Franz Ferdinand
Greetings in Braille – The Elected
Singe me Spanish Techno – The New Pornographers
Talk Show Host – Radiohead
#1 Crush – Garbage

Maui

It’s been almost two years since we were in Hawaii. When I was looking at pictures just now, I really looked at this one for the first time. I think it’s a great picture. I wish I could claim it but Jennifer took it on the morning we rode bikes down Haleakalā. The experience itself was amazing because we were driven in a van to the top before sunrise, watched the sunrise, and then rode down the volcano. It was freezing at the top and, the morning we went, we were above the clouds. I don’t really remember how long the actual riding time was but the whole experience was seven or so hours (including a short safety video, watching the sunrise, and breakfast at the base of the volcano). Even after learning to surf, it was my favorite single experience of the trip. Anyway, Jennifer took this when we stopped about halfway down. I’ve looked at this picture several times and only tonight noticed that her brother and the landscape are reflected in her glasses. I don’t know if that was her intent or not but it turned out well. In the left corner of the picture, you can see a bit of the van that carted us to the top and followed us down for safety.

Elevator Issues

It seems like I have an over-abundance of issues with the elevator. In general, I do not like chit chat with people I don’t know and I specifically don’t like it in the elevator when I’m riding to work in the morning. Accordingly, when I walk into the building in the morning and people are waiting with the doors open for the elevator to leave, I often walk around the corner as if I plan to take the stairs. After I hear the doors shut, I come back around and catch an empty elevator. Obviously, it’s a weird habit but it makes me more comfortable.

This morning, I walked in the doors of my building and saw an elevator full but the doors were shutting. I thought that I was safe but, just before the doors shut, one of the women recognized me and put her purse in the door so I could catch it. It was clearly a nice gesture on her part but, instead of saying thanks, I just mumbled something about intending to the catch the next one and reluctantly stepped inside.

One of the people in the elevator was holding a mystery dessert and two of the other people were commenting about how the dessert holder would need to share with others. Exactly the kind of talk I like to avoid. Everyone happened to get off on a floor a couple down from mine, it was a relief until I realized that someone else was getting on.

Of course, the new person said, “Good morning.” I mumbled something back and then immediately felt bad for not being nicer. So, much more exuberantly than my mumbled response, I said, “How are you today!” It was readily apparent that I had startled the person so I stared at the floor. Thinking that the next stop was mine, I got off and started walking to my office. When I rounded the corner, I realized that, in my hurry to get out of the elevator, I had gotten off a floor too soon. I didn’t bother trying to catch the elevator; I just walked the final flight of stairs.