Amway, LTD, and My Doctor

When I was in college, a cousin of mine was unemployed. He couldn’t find work that, in his opinion, merited his time. If I were his wife, and mother of his young daughter, I would have thought that any job resulting in a paycheck would have merited his time. My cousin’s solution: Amway.

To try to get me interested in buying Amway products and, presumably, selling the business system to others, he gave me some samples of some of Amway’s products. I don’t even recall what they were, shampoo and lotion maybe? I thought the products sucked. Even if I had thought the products were high quality, I have absolutely, positively no desire to sell anything to anyone. None.

Exposure to Amway through my cousin was my only experience with multi-level marketing. Until yesterday.

To really appreciate my experience, I actually have to start my story a couple of months ago. One evening, after filling my belly with Indian food and Indian beer at the Star of India, I stopped by Best Buy to browse their music selection (which, incidentally, is not great but it is cheap). As I was browsing, some random guy introduced himself to me and then started a conversation. I hate that. If I don’t know you, don’t talk to me. I don’t mean to be harsh about it. It’s okay in certain situations when you are confined in a small space with a stranger, like on an airplane, in my opinion to strike up a conversation. But if I’m browsing in a store, don’t randomly talk to me unless I already know you.

Anyway, I was a bit irritated that this guy was ruining what had started as a pleasant evening. I tried to give him a mental, “Leave me alone,” vibe. He didn’t get it. He eventually got around to asking me what I do. I wanted to ask, “What does that question even mean?” I always want to answer it with, “I do a lot of things. For example, I like to watch movies and read. I like to spend time with my dogs. I sleep sometimes.” Instead, I just told him my profession and where I am employed.

From there, he jumped into a sales pitch about a professional business team that he is a part of, and asked me if I might be interested. Talking to some random guy at Best Buy is not my preferred way to find new business opportunities, so I immediately blew him off and left.

A few days later, I received a call, from a number I did not recognize, on my mobile phone. I generally do not answer calls from numbers I do not recognize so I let it go to voice mail. When I listened to the voice mail later that afternoon, I was shocked when I heard my doctor’s voice. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac so, obviously, I do not like to receive unsolicited calls from my physician. I hung up. What I thought my doctor could be calling to tell me about my health, I have no idea. But I firmly believed that it was bad. I sat for a few seconds as I felt my chest tighten and my heart rate speed. Then, reason took over to some degree. I thought, “I haven’t been to see him in months. There is no way he could be calling to tell me something about my health.” Still, as I dialed my voice mail again, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

When I listened to the voice mail, I was relieved that he was not calling for any medical reason. He was calling to ask me if I would be interested in joining a professional business team he is a part of. “Strangely coincidental,” I thought. Then he went on to tell me how a friend of his had run into me in Best Buy, he had told his friend that I am one of his patients, and they both thought I’d be a good candidate. His revealing that I am a patient of his to the random Best Buy guy is the first time I have confirmation of my doctor breaking HIPAA.

He wasn’t clear in his voice mail what the business opportunity, or the professional business team itself, is or what sort of business they are involved in. However, he is my doctor and, to stay on good terms, I called him back and let him know that I would be interested in hearing more. I gave him my email address, but he said that it would be better if we met for a cup of coffee or something so that he could explain it in detail. I do not like evasiveness, especially when a physician is involved. However, he had piqued my interest a bit.

For several weeks while we tried to find a convenient time for both our schedules, we traded phone calls. During this time, a co-worker of mine happened to have an appointment with my doctor. I know this because, during the afternoon after she saw him, she asked me if I know Dr. _______. I told her that I do. She said, “Thought so. He said you’re one of his patients.” That was the second time I have confirmation of him breaking HIPAA.

We finally found time to meet last night. The summit occurred at Starbucks. It started off badly; I had to buy my own coffee. Also, he brought random Best Buy guy. For a while, it was just small talk. It turns out that random Best Buy guy and I attended the same college. We started talking about people we might mutually know. I went through the list of people, who I know well and who attended the college. One of them happens to also be a patient of my doctor. So, when I mentioned that person’s name, he said something like, “That person is a patient of mine.” Third time that I have confirmation that he broke HIPAA. By this time, I was thinking that he’s an idiot. A doctor, yes, but still an idiot.

I listened to his presentation and tried to treat him with respect. But he was still evasive in what he told me and in answering the questions I asked. In fact, he went so far as to say, “We’re not prepared to give you the full financial details today.” Instead, he invited me to a seminar next week where they will “run the numbers.” I’m out on that. Anyway, from what I could gather, it seems that the “business opportunity” is basically an internet version of Amway.

When I got home, I did a little research to see if I could find out more about the company which I think is called LTD; not even that is clear. Remarkably, I could find very little. I did find a couple of message boards with postings that discussed the company. The message boards supported my belief that it is an Amway-like organization. I also found two company owned websites. One is a teaser site that they use as a marketing tool. It can be found here . The other is the portal to their member-only site. It doesn’t provide any information at all but, if you are curious, it can be found here .

In the end, I may find a new doctor. I may not. I like that he freely gives prescriptions when you need one. But I don’t like that he apparently breaks HIPAA at will. Under the circumstances, I don’t care that he tells others that I am his patient. But, in general, it makes me wonder what else he would do to benefit himself financially.

Sort of tangentially related, while doing my research on LTD, I ran across a website called MLM Watch that has an interesting page that lists ten big lies of Multi Level Marketing. It interested me because I heard some of them during my doctor’s presentation. It’s here if you want to read the myths.

Follow Up to Church Billboards

I was just browsing on Slate.com and found an interesting article about the history of church billboards in the United States. Given my post yesterday, I thought it was timely that I found the article. Probably more appropriately than me calling them billboards, the article refers to the signs as marquees. Anyway, if you are interested then you can read it here.

Church Billboards and Immigration

If I can figure out who originally decided that it was a good idea to place a soapbox billboard in front of a church and put a pithy message on it, I will seek him or her out and deliver one hard slap across the cheek. The billboards anger me in a way that I suppose is representative of deep-seated dissatisfaction that I have with churches in general. From that perspective, it’s probably my issue to deal with. Still, I believe that a church billboard is no place to deliver messages like the following one I read over the weekend:

If you can read this billboard, thank a teacher. If you can read it in English, thank a veteran.

It bothers me for many reasons.

First, it isn’t clear. Is it intended to praise teachers, veterans, or both? I think it would have been more appropriate for the church leaders to simply say, “God bless our teachers and veterans.” I can get on board with that.

Second, it’s historically inaccurate. Defeated countries do not automatically change languages. For examples, look at Germany and Japan. Neither country started speaking English (or Russian or Chinese) after the allies defeated them in World War 2.

Third, it’s not Biblical. I base this on my presumption that the intent behind the billboard is to praise both professions while offering some sort of backhanded opinion about the ongoing immigration debate. No person who speaks English as a second language (those who don’t speak English wouldn’t be reading the billboard), would feel welcome at the church. That is clearly in contravention of Old Testament law which specifically teaches that the law is to be equally applied to all people, aliens included, that aliens are to be treated with respect and love and, to the extent they agree to submit to the law, permitted to participate in all aspects of Jewish society. Obviously, Jesus reinforced the teaching.

So, now that I think about it, the billboard really irritated an old wound: I cannot tolerate people who profess Christianity but say things like, “Let’s send all them Mexicans home. They don’t need to be here living on welfare and taking my tax dollars.” Ignorant jerks.

Buckley

Incredibly, it was ten years ago today that Jeff Buckley waded into the Mississippi River and died.  If you haven’t listened to Grace, Buckley’s only studio album, I recommend that you give it a chance.  The whole album is great, but Buckley’s rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is my favorite version of the song.

Long Weekend of Movies

Bug

Bug is compelling, well made, and features great acting by the whole cast, especially Ashley Judd and Harry Connick, Jr. Unfortunately, talented actors simply make an unsettling movie more believable. Before I saw it, I was under the mistaken impression that it was more psychological thriller less trip through the horror of daily life as a psychotic. Thrillers I like, on screen psychosis I don’t.

Waitress

The best way I know to describe this highly enjoyable dramatic comedy is to say that, in the same way Amelie did a few years ago, it ably walks the thin line between reality and fantasy. Keri Russell, thankfully shedding all remnants of Felicity tarnish, won me over as the title character who is stuck in a bad marriage and uses baking, specifically pies, as an outlet for her frustrations. Taken alone, parts of the movie would be more than unbelievable. As a whole, though, the story is funny, touching (without cloying), and just plain good.

A Good Year

I like Russell Crowe, at least his acting. He picks great movies and he is great in them. A Good Year continues the theme. In the beginning of the movie, Crowe’s character, a rich, powerful securities trader in London, inherits a vineyard in France where he had spent much of his youth. He has fond memories of the place, but feels the pull of both worlds. The choice would be easy for me. I would cloister myself at the vineyard, especially if Marion Cotillard were waiting there for me.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

It’s about what you expect from a popcorn munching sequel: Big actors, big scenes, dramatic music, special effects. It’s not bad, just nothing special.

Stranger than Fiction

Not the typical Will Ferrell comedy. But it’s a great story about the importance of living life. I especially like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character, Ana Pascal, who, to make the world a better place, dropped out of Harvard law to pursue baking. My favorite scene of the whole movie takes place when Ferrell’s character, Harold Crick who is an IRS auditor, finishes an audit of Pascal’s bakery. She purposefully made the audit hard for Crick and felt remorse for her actions. As Crick is leaving her bakery late at night, Pascal offers him some cookies she had just baked. He refuses, saying that it is against IRS rules to accept gifts. Pascal is clearly hurt that Crick couldn’t just be a human, instead of an IRS automaton, and accept her kindness. For Crick, it is the beginning of a journey of self realization.

Running with Scissors

The next time I think my family is strange, I will remember Augusten Burroughs. Running with Scissors is a good movie, but it is profoundly sad to think that a mother, with apparent financial means to support a child, would intentionally transfer her parental rights to her psychologist.

Gatsby

The Great Gatsby is the only work of F. Scott Fitzgerald that I have read. I won’t bore you with my review, but I loved it. Sometime about the time I was reading the book, I happened across the following quote attributed to Fitzgerald:

You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Other people have said the same thing. But I like that Fitzgerald said it succinctly. Anyway, I always write about only what interests me at any particular moment. Often, that happens to be about silly things, sometimes not. Regardless, I always try to follow Fitzgerald’s advice. He seemed to have some success with it.

Rock ‘n Roll Doggie

Every day for about two months before I took the bar exam, I sat for 10 to 12 hours and studied. The studying itself was not fun. Otherwise, it was a bizarre, yet strangely enjoyable, experience that I shared primarily with two really great guys. We were already friends, but an experience like that creates a camaraderie that cannot be artificially replicated. We stressed, we laughed, we even, on a couple of nights, drank too much to blow off some steam. But mostly, other than reading, we ate. We ate pizza, and barbecue, and cookies, chips, cake, pretzels, and endless amounts of candy. It’s what we did because, when you study that much and expect to retain it, it’s the only thing you can do to distract yourself from a very mundane existence.

About a week before the bar exam, when we were all thoroughly worn out and ready to be done with the whole endeavor, we found ourselves amused by almost anything, and one of us decided that, in case we failed the bar exam, we should start a band. We all thought about what the band should be named. One of us, who I don’t remember, said that, because we had all gained weight over the weeks that had passed while we studied, we should call ourselves Fat Like Me. We all immediately agreed.

I relate that story now because, when I saw Rebekah’s blog today, and saw the fake band bio she had generated on this website, I was immediately reminded of Fat Like Me. It brought a smile to my face. Anyway, here is a short bio of Fat Like Me:

A history of indie rock icons: Fat Like Me
After starting out in downtown Fayetteville, Fat Like Me broke into the indie rock scene in 1999 with their debut album, Bar Exam Blues. The band’s latest album, Out of the Service, merges Penguin Ed’s introspective vocal narratives with modish guitar parts to spark a bevy of chart-topping creations. With standout tracks like “Carter’s Stomp,” the music of Fat Like Me appeals to indie rock fans and non-indie rock fans alike.

Icky Thump

I just watched the video for the White Stripes new song “Icky Thump.”  As expected from Jack and Meg, it rocks. It also manages to make a political statement without irritating.  The only drawback is that I’m not sure how I feel about seeing Meg dressed up as a one-eyed prostitute.  Check it out for yourself here.

Work…

Has kept me extremely busy.  Will have a new post as soon as I have time.

Enough Said

“We now have endorsed the concept of pre-emptive war where we go to war with another nation militarily, even though our own security is not directly threatened, if we want to change the regime there or if we fear that some time in the future our security might be endangered, but that’s been a radical departure from all previous administration policies.”

–Former President Jimmy Carter on Foreign Policy in the Bush Administration

An Interesting Anecdote

Work is no fun.  It’s work.  It interferes with daily life.

With that in mind, since I have to work, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, I like my job right now.  I really do.  It’s probably the best all around position I’ve ever had.  The hours are good, my boss is great, and it pays well.  I share all that with you not to brag but because I don’t want anyone to misunderstand this interesting anecdote:

Because of my profession, I know many, many lawyers.  MANY lawyers.  Probably more than I ever believed I would know.  Probably more than any one person should know.  But the interesting fact about knowing all the lawyers that I do is that, of the ones I’ve discussed career choices with, all of them, with one exception, have told me that they would choose a different career if they were to start over.  Before you start making assumptions, most of the lawyers I know are well paid.  Because I work for a corporation, I rarely, if ever, have occassion to speak to anyone working for legal aid, the public defender, state government, or any other stereotypically underpaid attorneys.

I agree with those who would choose something else.  I don’t know what I would do, but not become an attorney.  It’s boring.  It’s not glamarous.  I fight every day with people about contract clauses, if structures were built on the wrong property, if someone has a superior right to someone else, about subrogation, about indemnification, and about proration.  Almost every day, I even fight about possible outcomes that will likely never happen?  It’s not fun.  It’s not gratifying.

It probably sounds like I’m complaining.  It’s not my intent.  I elaborated more than I intended but really I just wanted to share and emphasize that tidbit of knowledge.  Keep it in mind if you have an opportunity to advise others about their career choices.

Hank Williams Said it in 1949…

Mind your own business.

I’ve written about this several times so, as a topic, it may be a bit tired. I continue to post about it because I’m utterly amazed at the incredible rudeness of some people:

It happened three times this week.

The first time was in reference to our house which, incidentally, we are no longer trying to sell. We had quite a bit of interest, but the one we were going to buy fell through for reasons related to the seller’s situation.

Anyway, a co-worker asked if we had sold our house yet. I told him no and explained why we decided not to pursue it any longer, adding that, since it’s just the two of us, we don’t really need more space, just another bathroom. He responded by saying, “Yeah, but you know what happens when people get out of school.” I knew what he meant but in my annoyance I asked, “No, I don’t. What do you mean?” “They want to start having kids.” I said, “First, it’s none of your fucking business. Second, by ‘they’ you really mean Jennifer and, by reference to her, women in general and I think it’s really small minded of you to think that all women, when they reach a certain point in their life, automatically want to have children.” Okay, I didn’t say that but it’s what I wanted to say.

What I really said was, “You know, it’s not something that we’re really planning on right now. We’ve been married for almost 11 years and we’re doing okay with just the two of us.” He didn’t respond.

The second time was when I was speaking on the phone with someone about business. The person and I were shooting the breeze about the weather before we started talking about the document we were negotiating. Out of the blue, he asked, “So, are you and your wife planning on children anytime soon?” Many questions ran through my mind: Why did you phrase it that way? How do you know I don’t have children? I’m sorry, do I know you? Do you know me? Are we in any way friends? Obviously not, we just started talking for the first time about 2 minutes ago. I just said, “No.”

I’ve dealt with this crap so long that it doesn’t normally bother me. However, the third time made me uncomfortable because of the circumstances. Almost unbelievably, it happened during a meeting with about 25 people in the room. As it was winding down, one person in the meeting started apologizing for being a few minutes late. She said that she would have been on time but had to drop her kids off at day care or do something else, related to her kids, about which I had no interest. Whatever it was she was doing, it’s not an adequate excuse in my mind. You get paid to be at work for a certain number of hours. If you can’t drop your kids off until whenever, then you need to take less pay or find a different job. I happen to know this person rather well and know that she uses her children as an excuse fairly often. Regardless, she went on to jokingly say that kids screw everything up.

One of the other women in the meeting said, “Don’t say things like that in front of David, he’ll never have kids.” As she said it, she looked at me as if to imply that I’m obviously an incomplete person and my journey in life will not be complete without children. I’m not sure why but I somehow felt the need to justify why we don’t have kids. I’ve never felt that before. It was perplexing. I quickly decided that I owed no explanation to anyone in that room and didn’t say a word. I just silently thought, “You road whore.”

Honestly people, just give it a rest.

The other thing, about which I don’t think I’ve written before, is I am partly amazed because of the implications of questions about children. In the U.S., sex is a taboo subject. With few exceptions, no one in casual conversation would presume to ask about someone’s sex life. So, then, why do some people think it’s okay to ask if a person is planning on having children. Folks, the stork doesn’t deliver children.

I think I’ve rambled long enough…

Things Jerry Said

At the risk of speaking ill of the dead, I just read an interesting article at Slate about some of the things Jerry Falwell said over the years. Here is my favorite:

I listen to feminists and all these radical gals. … These women just need a man in the house. That’s all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they’re mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They’re sexist. They hate men; that’s their problem.

Oh Jerry.

The other quotes are equally bad. If you are interested, check out the article here.

A WAR CZAR!?!

Every few months, I start to think that the Bush administration cannot surprise me more than they already have.  Then they turn around and do something like appoint a war czar for a four year old war.  If I have time later, I’ll post the reasons why I think appointing a war czar is stupid.  For now, I couldn’t let the morning pass without expressing my outrage.

Lindsey Lohan is Filthy

Maxim magazine, that well respected, bastion of high minded literature, has officially fallen from my good graces by naming Lindsey Lohan number 1 on its list of the Hot 100 women. In case you couldn’t tell by my tongue in cheek description of the magazine, I don’t read it. I was just aghast when I read about the ranking on CNN.com this morning.

The demeaning nature of such lists aside, attractiveness is so subjective that I find them more than a little silly. By that reasoning, I suppose it’s more than a little silly for me to besmirch their choices. Let’s just say that Lindsey wouldn’t have made my list. Talk about needing a shower. Anyway the CNN article is here if you are interested.

Paris – My Guide

Over the weekend, a co-worker left for a week in Paris. Before she left work last Friday, I told her that I was jealous because it’s my favorite city. I also gave her a few unsolicited recommendations. She said that she liked them, but may have just been placating me. Anyway, for what they’re worth, here are my essential things to do in Paris:

Eat a chocolate éclair. I don’t care if you like pastries or not. It’s a cliché to say this, but you can’t get éclairs in the U.S. like they make them in France. I don’t usually eat sticky, sweet stuff but I eat three or four éclairs every time I’m in Paris. Doesn’t matter where you get it, the boulangeries in France have to meet a certain standard so every one I’ve had has been great.

Eat a nutella and banana crepe. Just get it from a random street vendor. If you don’t like hazelnut or bananas, get another flavor. But don’t come back and tell me you didn’t eat at least one crepe.

Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower. It’s a tourist trap but the view is awesome. If you don’t do heights, go to the second level. It’s still fairly high, but it’s large enough that it’s almost like being on a tall building’s observatory and doesn’t seem quite as tenuous as the top.

Go to Basilica de Sacre Couer. Again, the view is awesome. Montmarte has become a tourist trap, but it’s that way for a reason. It’s very charming. We go to the church every time to sit on the steps and admire the surroundings.

If you only go to one museum, make it the Orsay because it’s small enough to really enjoy it. Even if you’re not an art fan, you’ll see paintings that you’ll recognize. However, I think you should also see the Louvre. If you go to the Louvre, focus on what you want to see because you can’t see everything. I highly recommend 19th century French paintings, though. They are ridiculously huge. Also, there is something about Winged Victory that gives me chills. It’s in one of the main halls so it’s easy to see.

If you want to do something a bit more quirky, see the Catacombs. In a morbid sort of way, it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. The French resistance was headquartered there, but the really interesting part is the yards and yards of human bones piled and stacked. During the last round of the plague, Paris graveyards started overflowing and the bones from the already decomposed bodies were moved to the catacombs. It may sound weird but I found it terribly interesting. It seems to be closed fairly often, so I’d ask your concierge to find out if it is open before you make the trip across town.

Spend a day shopping and at least an afternoon in one of the big department stores like Printemps or, my favorite, Galeries Lafayette. I once spent a wonderful afternoon in the café in Galeries Lafayette drinking French beer and writing in my journal while Jennifer shopped.

Try to speak French. The people really do respond better. Keep in mind that some people will be rude anyway. Just ignore them because some people will be super nice.

Happy Day – Pink Martini

Over the past few years, the group Pink Martini has become one of my favorites. I love their unclassifiable music for many reasons. Their near virtuosity is at the top of the list. They are masters at playing many different instruments, genres and singing in many different languages. For example, their last album, Hang on Little Tomato, features songs in English, Spanish, French, and Japanese.

I also like the diverse crowd that their music attracts. When Jennifer and I saw them in Austin, Texas (with the Austin Symphony Orchestra), people of all ages were in attendance. We sat next to a couple who had flown from San Francisco to see the show. It was their wedding anniversary. But my favorite part about the show was when, about half-way through, China Forbes, the person in the group who sings more songs than any other (to call her the lead singer would be a misnomer since the group members share many duties), encouraged people to come down in the large open area in front of the stage and dance. Jennifer and I chose not to dance, but I had a marvelous time observing the wonderful dancing scene that featured the very young, the very old, and many in between. Age wasn’t important; everyone was just having fun.

I’m excited because, this morning on NPR, I heard that their new album, Hey Eugene!, will be released tomorrow. For a taste of their music, and their aesthetic, check out their website.

What I’ve Been Doing

Listening…

Fresh Air – The NPR radio show is celebrating the 20th anniversary of its first national broadcast. If you don’t listen to it, you should. Terri Gross is a great interviewer, and the guests are surprisingly diverse. It broadcasts on KUAR (FM 89.1), Little Rock’s local NPR affiliate, at 11:00 weekday mornings. The shows are also available via podcast.

Reading…

A Walk in the Woods – Bill Bryson’s memoir of his failed attempt at thru hiking the Appalachian Trail is hilarious. He has an uncanny way of mixing dry humor with a great deal of hyperbole that, had I not read the book, I would guess would be tiring. It’s not. I loved every word.

The online magazine Slate – Politics, health, photography, science, sports, music, movies, travel, food, style. It has something for everyone. It’s well written. What’s not to like? Check it out here.

Watching…

Lost – All I have to say is that, if the writers pull all the plot lines together and appropriately explain the island’s phenomena, it will be the greatest T.V. show ever.

Heroes – I love this live action comic book. But I’m a geek.

The Riches – This is a show that highlights all the quirkiness of modern American life by taking a family of con artists out of their normal element (transient life in an R.V.) and places them in suburbia where they assume the lives of a wealthy, and recently deceased, family. It’s funny and heart breaking and strange, and I love it.

Traveling…

Miami – Some places are like your auntie, but there’s no place like Miami!