For Crash

Into your heart I’ll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you, I’m so lost for you

-From “Crash” by Dave Matthews

If my friend Wade wrote down a list of his priorities, near the top of his list would be the Arkansas Razorbacks. He called me yesterday. When I answered the phone, he sounded defeated. Naturally, I assumed that, when he admitted to being depressed, I thought he was referring to the state of the Arkansas basketball program. When I asked if that was it, he said, “It’s way more serious than that.” I couldn’t imagine what, in his mind, would be more serious than Razorback basketball, but I knew it had to be something terrible. He then told me about how Crash, his chow/lab mix, has an aggressive type of cancer.

Wade brought Crash home from the pound when Crash was still a puppy. He chose Crash because, when he was there, Crash was literally the next dog on the list to be euthanized. For the past eleven years, a time during which Wade has made at least two major changes in the direction of his career, moved several times, been married and divorced, and suffered the death of close family members, Crash has been his constant companion. Wade has never regretted his impulsive decision to adopt Crash.

But Wade’s call made me consider something I’ve often thought about in the past: I’m not sure how to react to the way, as a culture, we treat our dogs. I don’t think we treat them fairly. We heap upon them a whole range of human emotions they are probably incapable of understanding. We ask them into our homes, and share our lives with them. Much of what we perceive to be their love for us is probably based on the benefits they receive for certain actions. Still, they fake love really well, and our weak hearts fall for them. I suppose that, as Ulysses Everett McGill, one of my favorite movie characters of all time, says, “It’s a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.”

“24″ as Cultural Barometer

I watched the television show “24″ for its first two seasons. For the first season especially, I thought that the concept was interesting. I certainly was hooked.

But I don’t watch the show any longer. I think it was during the first few episodes of season 3 that I quit. Whenever, it was when Jack Bauer intentionally took drugs to infiltrate a drug ring, or something equally inane. I quit mostly out of growing discontent with Jack Bauer’s one dimensional personality and with Kiefer Sutherland’s acting. I was simply annoyed at watching him take drugs for the good of the country. Even though I tried to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the story, I found it unbelievable that he would, absolutely and unquestioningly, do whatever was necessary for the good of the country.

Recently, I read an article in The New Yorker about “24.” It is titled “Whatever it Takes.” While my decision to quit watching the show was because I had lost interest as a result of the unbelievable premise, the article, written by Jane Mayer, implies that “24″ has far reaching effects that are not favorable to the United States or for freedom generally. After reading what she has written, I agree with her.

If you are a fan of the show, you owe it to yourself to at least consider her article. It can be found on The New Yorker’s website here.

Are you an atheist?

I think that it is a question inapplicable to most of you who read my blog on a regular basis. Regardless, it’s something that I am curious about.

Let me start by saying that, when I refer to an atheist, I mean someone who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings. When I refer to an agnostic, I mean someone who is either undecided about the existence or non-existence of a supreme being or beings, or someone who believes that the existence or non-existence of a supreme being is unknowable because human knowledge is limited.

So here is the crux of the issue and the reason for my post: I can understand the position of an agnostic, but I cannot understand that of an atheist. The catalyst for my post is a conversation I had this past weekend, the details of which are not important. However, it is a question which I have often pondered.

If you are an atheist, I am truly interested to know what brought you to your belief, or, if you prefer, non-belief. Have you always been an atheist? Did something happen that swayed your belief?

I happen to be a Christian. But please don’t let my personal views dissuade you from offering your reasons here; I am really, non-judgmentally interested in hearing from you. To be fair, a while ago I posted a few reasons why I believe in God. If you are interested, you can check them out here.

To those of you who believe in, to phrase it in a parlance that I don’t necessarily like, a higher power, I would like to hear from you as well. Why do you believe in a supreme being? To other Christians out there, please don’t quote the various Bible verses that essentially say, “God exists because the Bible says so.” I happen to believe that, but I personally don’t put a great deal of objective value in an argument based on the internal arguments of the belief system itself.

Please, whatever your beliefs are, let me hear your thoughts.

ABSOLUTly cool

I’ve always admired the print ads for Absolut vodka.  They have recently commissioned six artists to design new ads. 

In addition, they have started a Lomography project whereby anyone who wants can submit a photo and be featured in their gallery in Stockholm.  I don’t know all the details, but my understanding is that all submitted photos are added to one wall in the gallery, outstanding photos are featured on the website, and a few winners (one every four weeks) will be given an all expense paid trip to the Lomography World Congress in London.  I personally have no visual medium talent, but I know that some of you who read my blog do.  If you are interested in submitting a photo, stop by Absolut’s website and check it out.

Calling all duct tape enthusiasts

Last Friday, I posted a short bit about duct tape wallet kits.  In a comment to that post, Daniel over at Tape Around put in a plug for a new website devoted to duct tape. I do think that duct tape is one of the more versatile inventions of the 20th Century, but I would hardly call myself a duct tape enthusiast. Regardless, if the folks at Tape Around went to the trouble of creating a website and Daniel went to the trouble of stopping by my blog, then I’m willing to put a plug in for the site.  I’m intrigued, but I won’t be posting on the site’s blog or joining their forum.

Good luck, Tape Around.

To the Pain – Did the Princess Bride Unknowingly Predict the Future?

Is the future of warfare one of more pain and less casualties?  According to Slate, it may be. Apparently, the U.S. armed forces have recently tested a weapon that shoots a beam of energy that heats the targeted person’s body like a microwave. Because it penetrates only one-sixty-fourth of an inch, it causes no lasting damage. I don’t even know what to begin to think about that. Obviously, less casualties are a good thing. But will such weapons encourage more warfare? I can think of many more questions…

Anyway, if you are interested then you can read Slate’s article here.

Decisions – why should I care about Britney Spears’ head?

This past weekend, the biggest decision that I had to make was which case to buy for my Macbook.

Meanwhile, in India, family members of those who were killed in a terrorist bombing of a train had to decide what to do with the bodies of their loved ones.

Same thing for the family members of those killed in a car bomb attack in Ramadi, Iraq.

And in Chad, refugees, who had fled across the border from the Darfur region, had to decide how best to avoid death, or homelessness at a minimum, at the hands Janjaweed militia, who followed the refugees across the border.

The really great part about all of this is that I didn’t have to make a decision about what to watch on the news because, seemingly every time I turned on the television, there was coverage of and speculation about Britney Spears shaving her head.

I don’t know what to think about that.

The return of Milli Vanilli?

This morning on NPR, I heard that a film about the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli is in the works.  I didn’t like them before everyone found out their music wasn’t even sung by them.  However, I do think that a movie about how they conned everyone, including Grammy voters, could be interesting, especially if, as reported by the BBC here, it is written by Jeff Nathanson.

Duct Tape Wallet

A few years ago, my brother in law fashioned himself a wallet using duct tape.  His stated reason for doing it was that he was staging his own little anti-consumerism protest.  He also swore that, if he had a way to market them, people would buy them as a cheap alternative to leather – I think that was a little antithetical to his stated purpose.  Anyway, I suppose he should have done it then because, now, the folks over at my ductbills are making a go at it.  I find them intriguing.  I may buy one.

FTD.com’s customer service is the worst I have experienced

Sorry, I know this is a really long post. If you don’t want to read it, the summary is that I recommend that you not use FTD.com to send flowers or other gifts. The customer service is literally the worst I have ever experienced.

This past Sunday evening, I ordered flowers through FTD.com for delivery to Jennifer yesterday. Because Jennifer is a temporary intern at a hospital with many employees, I knew that delivery might be a little difficult. As such, I provided FTD with Jennifer’s mobile phone number. The website indicated that she might be contacted to schedule delivery. I also tried to get the order status once per day on Monday and Tuesday. Each time I was told, “Your order is being processed by a local FTD florist. We will check with the florist on your order number FNK1564596 and provide you with a status update via email. Thank you for using FTD.com.” I never received an email.

Around noon yesterday, Jennifer called me and told me that a florist had tried to deliver some flowers to the hospital, but that the receptionist didn’t know Jennifer so they hadn’t been left. I know that Valentine’s Day is a busy day for florists, probably the busiest all year. However, I wish that the delivery person had, at that point, taken a more proactive approach. He or she could have left the flowers there. Doesn’t it make sense that, if I ordered flowers for a person at a particular hospital, I probably wasn’t mistaken that the recipient is there someplace? Alternatively, he or she could have called Jennifer on her mobile phone. I intentionally provided her number when I placed the order for just such a contingency. Instead, the delivery person took the flowers when he or she left.

In spite of the fact that I think the delivery person could have done something more, I can accept that delivery problems happen. I really can. But I cannot accept my experience that followed Jennifer’s call to me.

After she called, I immediately called FTD.com. When I did, I was told that, because of extraordinary call volume, the wait time would be in excess of 60 minutes. I literally didn’t believe the recording, and thought I had surely misheard the recorded lady’s voice. I hung up and called back. Again, I was told that the wait time would be in excess of 60 minutes. Because I happened to be on my way to a lunch-break appointment, I hung up and decided to call back when I got back to my office.

When I did, I put the call on speaker phone and just turned it down in the background while I did some work. While I was holding, a lady’s voice periodically told me that, for my convenience, I could, in lieu of waiting in the hold queue, visit FTD.com and send a message. Determined to talk to a live person, I didn’t hang up the phone but I did stop working for a few minutes and submit such a message. In response to my message, I received this email, clearly some sort of form answer:

Thank you for contacting us regarding your recent order. We are always happy to hear from our customers and enjoy assisting you. We are so sorry to hear that there are questions surrounding the delivery of your order. We will contact the florist immediately regarding the details of the delivery. Our goal is to respond to you within 24 hours. Thank you for shopping with FTD.COM. Sincerely, FTD.COM

When I got the response, I felt my blood pressure rise. I quickly typed a response, a copy of which I wish I had kept. I don’t remember exactly what I wrote, but basically I explained my experience up to that point with FTD.com and asked for someone to email me or call me with the name and number of the local FTD florist so I could simply call and schedule a delivery. I ended my email by saying that if the situation was not resolved then I would not use FTD.com for future orders. Not surprisingly, I received the following which, again, I believe to be some sort of form answer:

Thank you for the feedback. We are always happy to hear from you and address any questions or concerns you may have. Once reviewed, we will pass your comments to the appropriate staff member or department. If there are questions, we will contact you at the email address provided. Thank you for shopping with FTD.COM. Sincerely, FTD.COM Customer Service

After holding for 45 minutes – at least it was 15 short of the anticipated 60 – I spoke to someone in customer service. She assured me that another delivery attempt would be made yesterday, and that, if there were any problems, Jennifer would be called on her mobile phone to schedule a delivery time.

Jennifer heard nothing all afternoon. After 5:00, the time by which I was told another delivery attempt would be made, I again tried to call customer service. I expected a long hold again, but was willing to wait because I was fuming and, whether or not the poor customer service representative was personally responsible, wanted to take it out on someone. I was incredulous when I received a message that said, because of the extraordinary call volume, I could not speak to a customer service representative at that time. The recorded lady urged me to call back at a later time. I actually did try a few additional times, but received the same message each time.

Later yesterday evening, I received the following message:

Dear David, We regret to inform you that due to holiday volumes, we are unable to process your request for delivery confirmation at this time. Thank you for purchasing your order through FTD.COM Sincerely FTD.COM. Customer Service

I fired off another email that, again, explained the whole situation, informed them that I didn’t need delivery confirmation because I knew that it hadn’t been delivered, and requested a full refund. I followed up by going to the website and following a link to cancel my order. This morning, this gem of an email was waiting in my inbox:

Thank you for contacting FTD.COM. We are always happy to hear from our customers and enjoy assisting you. We received your recent request to cancel your order. Unfortunately, your order was already in the process of being delivered. We are so sorry that we were unable to accommodate your request. Thank you for shopping with FTD.COM Sincerely, FTD.COM Customer Service Order

So, the bottom line is that, not only were the flowers not delivered on the day I requested, but I was misled by customer service, and then couldn’t even talk to anyone else to try to work out a solution. The most frustrating part was the inability to get in touch with anyone, and the fact that, every time I sent detailed information and requests for some solution, I received what appear to be form responses. I chose FTD.com because I anticipated that they would be prepared for a huge Valentine’s rush and, being a name that is recognized world wide, I expected that things would go smoothly. If I had known that the customer service would be so poor, I would have made other arrangements with a local florist. Learn from my mistake; don’t waste your time and money with FTD.com.

Bouncy

This is strictly for my friend Catch because Beyonce is his favorite. Apparently, she is going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Cnn.com has a story about it here.

Dan is not the man

Often on Valentine’s Day, I think about a perplexing story from when I was working at Wal-Mart, and a fellow named Dan was one of my co-workers. On the first Valentine’s Day when we worked together, I asked Dan if he was giving his wife, Janet, a gift. Without further explanation, Dan said, “I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day.” I wasn’t sure how to respond, and just said, “Okay.”

As the day went on, I kept wondering why Dan didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. I particularly wondered if Janet believed in Valentine’s Day or not. Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer and asked him why, as he phrased it, he didn’t believe in Valentine’s. Dan said, “It’s not a real holiday. Hallmark made it up to sell more cards.” My conversation with Dan happened years before the film Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind was released. But when I watched that movie, I laughed out loud and thought of Dan when one of the characters describes Valentine’s Day as something made up by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

My understanding is that Valentine’s Day is a traditional holiday that dates back to the middle ages and is named after a Christian martyr. It’s origins hardly matter, though. It’s a date that our society now marks to express our feelings for those we love. I personally think Dan was selfish and didn’t want to spend any money or go to the trouble of thinking about what to buy Janet; my belief was reinforced by other things he did and said while we worked together. Besides, he could easily have celebrated the day without buying anything from Hallmark, if that was his true motivation for disbelieving in an entire holiday.

Regardless, I hate it for Dan that he missed and, I presume, continues to miss opportunities to do something a little extra for his wife. I particularly hate to think that Janet, who happens to be a teacher, doesn’t receive flowers at work when all the other teachers and students are receiving them. I realize that flowers, when considered strictly from a logical standpoint, are a waste of money because they just die. But that’s the point, they’re a beautiful, indulgent, and probably somewhat capricious way to express our love. But sending flowers is just one example and there are many things Dan could have done for Janet. Sadly, as far as I know, he still treats it as any other day. I hope that Dan realizes, before it’s too late, that love takes tending and will wither and die without the attention it needs.

The best song lyrics ever

Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you’ve a date in Constantinople
She’ll be waiting in Istanbul

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can’t say
People just liked it better that way

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can’t go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks

- from “Istanbul (not Constantinople)” by They Might be Giants

Star of Little Rock

Of all the places I’ve eaten in Little Rock, Star of India is among my favorites.  If you like Indian food, it’s simply the best.  I’ve had Indian in major cities in the U.S. and in a couple of other countries.  Star of India is as good or better than any of the other places I’ve eaten.

So, thanks Sami for running a great restaurant and keeping the Taj Mahal ice cold.  Also, thanks Wendy and Jason for dinner last night.

Grammy Awards

For once, I enjoyed most of the performances.  Even Carrie Underwood, singing the songs of the Eagles of all things, was tolerable.  As always, I was disappointed that some people didn’t win who I felt should (Imogen Heap, Goldfrapp, Arctic Monkeys) but was ecstatic when others did (Dixie Chicks).  Regardless, two things about the ceremony itself bothered me.

First, why on God’s green earth did The Police reunite?  I have to admit that, prior to the show, I bought into the hype about their performance.  Then, when I heard Sting say, “We’re the Police and we’re back,” I was so excited that I almost dropped my tuna sandwich while running from the kitchen to the living room.  But as I watched, I grew sad.  I kept expecting to be blown away.  But it never happened, even though I love “Roxanne.”  I just felt like I was watching some old guys getting together to relive their glory days.

Second, the Justin Timberlake duet contest was unnecessary.  It wasn’t so much the concept of the contest, or that the duet was with JT; I don’t dislike JT.  It was that, at what seemed like every break, the camera flashed to three girls, whom I had never seen before and do not care to see again, waiting on the edge of their chair, and smiling for the camera.  I just didn’t want to see them.  It was a night to see famous musicians and they aren’t.

I hate when…

…people act as if I’m crazy when I tell them that I don’t like the taste of spring water.  I want to scream, “Yes, you ignorant son of a gun, spring water has a definite flavor!”

Actually, while it does have a distinct flavor, the viscosity bothers me more.  It’s just easier to say that I don’t like the flavor.

It’s like a huge car wreck

I tried to resist it. I really did. But I cannot let this day pass without saying something about Anna Nicole Smith. I admit it; I’ll miss her.

Why are people so fascinated by her?  Is it, as I have seen suggested by various media outlets, her combination of beauty and dysfunction?  If you watched even one episode of her reality show, then you know that dysfunction was at the core of her very existence; at least that’s what the people at E would have us believe. I do not doubt that she had issues, but she must have been fairly intelligent, in some ways, to leverage her Playboy fame to an entire career (I don’t intend to imply that dysfunction and intelligence cannot coexist – it’s just that, if she was as dysfunctional as E depicted her, then I think she would never have made a career for herself). But she was so child-like in others.

Or is it the tragic nature of her life?   Especially during the last few months, it certainly was tragic: her battle over the estate of her dead husband continued, her son died, she gave birth to a baby over whom a custody battle resulted, and she was named as a defendant in a class action suit against the company for which she was a spokesperson. Dysfunctional or not, that would be enough to drive anyone over the edge.

I personally think it is because her life was, for the most part, one that people cannot fathom for themselves, but it appeals to our voyeuristic nature because, ironically, we can relate to some aspects of it. She was a mother for goodness sake. In the end, she was just an ambitious girl from a small town who, in any place and time other than the late 20th Century United States, would probably just have remained a beautiful girl in a small town. Just like people staring at a pile up on the freeway, it is impossible to look away from her particular brand of car wreck because we see that, while we aren’t driving as fast and sporadically as she was, we could be in that wreck if circumstances were different.

Goblin Shark

A few days ago, I wrote a post about the frilled shark.  Well, those crazy marine biologists in Tokyo have done it again.  They recently caught a goblin shark in Tokyo Bay.  They put it in an aquarium but sadly it died on January 27.

As with the frilled shark, I knew nothing about the goblin.  I read about it a little and found that they are rarely seen by humans because they live on the bottom of the ocean (at depths down to 3900 feet).  In fact, according to Wikipedia, only 45 have been desribed in scientific literature.  I suppose that’s meant to be impressive, but since I don’t generally read scientific literature it didn’t mean much to me.

Anyway, I’m continually amazed at the strange life in the ocean and the goblin shark definitely qualifies as that.  If you want to see a few pictures of the goblin shark, check out this page from Seapics.com. 

Music I’ve been enjoying lately

These aren’t necessarily new, but most of them are fairly new to me:

Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, Arctic Monkeys

After hearing, Franz Ferdinand’s You Could Have it so Much Better, I thought no one could make a better collection of dance/punk ditties. Arctic Monkeys proved me wrong. These songs are infectiously funny. I especially love how Alex Turner turns his observations of every day life into lyrical candy; he is very clever.

Hello Love, The Be Good Tanyas

I bought this CD for a cover of Prince’s “When Doves Cry”. I absolutely love their version. The rest of the songs are growing on me, but I’m not quite yet a fan. I find them a little too subtle.

The Information, Beck

This may not mean much to people who are not already fans of Beck, but I love this CD because it’s as if he took the best parts of his CDs Odelay and Sea Change, mashed them together, and The Information resulted. Other than that and because Beck is such a force unto himself, I’m not sure how to describe it. I love it, but I’m a Beck fan.

Robbers and Cowards, Cold War Kids

Especially in light of this being the Cold War Kids’ first release, I find Robbers and Cowards to be the most exciting collection of music that I’ve heard in some time. I promise that if you like guitar based rock at all and you give this CD a chance, it will work its way into your subconscious (in a good way) and you’ll want more.

Oh No, OK Go

If you haven’t seen it, the video for “Here it Goes Again” is well worth the time it takes to locate it someplace on the internet. Because it’s fun and the music is catchy, it’s a great introduction to OK Go. If you like power pop, I think you won’t be disappointed by Oh No.

Soft Machine, Teddybears

I don’t usually dance, but this is CD puts me in the mood for it. Their music is propelled by electronic bass lines, keyboards, and a thick layer of electric guitars. The guest vocals, especially Iggy Pop and Nene Cherry, are great. What’s not to like?

Show Your Bones, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Karen O scares me. But I think no one would accuse her of being unoriginal. I feel exactly the same way about the frenetic music she and her bandmates make. I have always liked their debut release, but I like Show Your Bones even more. Overall, it is more approachable and definitely intriguing.

A quote I like

The great American writer Herman Melville says somewhere in The White Whale that a man ought to be “a patriot to heaven,” and I believe it is a good thing, this ambition to be cosmopolitan, this idea to be citizens not of a small parcel of the world that changes according to the currents of politics, according to the wars, to what occurs, but to feel that the whole world is our country.

—Jorge Luis Borges