June 29, 1996

Today is the tenth anniversary of the day Jennifer and I were married.

Jennifer, thank you for everything. I love you.

Cusack and Superman

Happy Birthday to John Cusack. It’s the big four zero.

Since I started watching movies, Cusack has created some of my favorite, quirky characters. I’ll never forget Lloyd Dobler telling Diane Court’s father, “I can’t figure it all out tonight sir. I just want to hang with your daughter.” Because the big decisions are always hard to make, that scene always resonated with me more than the one everyone seems to remember when Lloyd stands outside Diane’s window with his boom box blaring Peter Gabriel.

For different reasons, I identify with several of his other characters. A few of my favorites include the journalist John Kelso in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, record store owner Rob in High Fidelity, and corrupt lawyer Charlie Arglist in The Ice Harvest.

My all time, hands down, favorite character in any movie, though, is Cusack’s Martin Blank from Grosse Pointe Blank. I think the script is pure genius. I was skeptical when I went to see the movie. I wasn’t sure how well I would identify with a hired gun returning home for his 10 year high school reunion. It’s perfect though. I love that Cusack portrays Blank as a neurotic mess and not merely as a hardened criminal who happens to kill people.

On another note, I’m not certain what to make of this new Superman movie. I have mixed feelings about the whole Superman story. I’ve always found Superman too super. So long as kryptonite isn’t around, he can basically do anything. I think it’s a bit of a cheap way to create a superhero. I prefer someone who had to overcome some obstacles to become a superhero. Take Batman for example. He is a normal, albeit wealthy, guy who got mad about his parents’ death and turned himself into a criminal butt kicking machine. He makes you believe that we each have at least a little superhero in us. Superman came from a distant planet, sent by Marlon Brando of all people, to save the earth from itself. It’s all a bit too messianic for my taste.

I plan to see the movie but it’ll have to be really good to win me over to the Superman camp.

Movies

I spent some serious time watching movies this weekend. Here is a recap:

Mrs. Henderson Presents
It is a drama/comedy about a wealthy widow who, during World War 2 and to raise morale, buys a theater in London and produces a musical review featuring nude women. I really enjoyed it. Judi Dench portrays the wealthy widow and Bob Hoskins portrays the director of the review. They are both really great and their characters’ interactions provides much of the comedy. Stephen Frears directed. He manages to balance a highly narrative style with a definite cinematic quality. I first became a fan of his a few years ago when I saw Dirty Pretty Things. Don’t be put off by the subject matter of Mrs. Henderson; the nudity is innocuous.

The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift
No plot, no character development. Just fast cars, attractive people, loud music, and guns. I enjoyed every minute.

Something New
A romantic comedy about the process and difficulties of an interracial couple falling in love. It is extremely thought provoking in the same way that Crash is, without taking itself too seriously. It doesn’t try too hard and suffer the fate of becoming overwrought and preachy. Its focus is more on the actual love of two people and examines the racial issues only tangentially. I highly recommend it. It’s the best movie I’ve seen in several months.

Casanova
I like Heath Ledger, Oliver Platt, Lena Olin, and Sienna Miller. Unfortunately, this movie is not the best vehicle for any of them. It isn’t bad but, about 2/3 of the way through, I just wanted it to be over so I could do something else.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
I still am not sure how I feel about this movie. I think it is pretty good but I also feel like it is intended to be a children’s movie. I guess that’s okay because C.S. Lewis meant it as a children’s book when he wrote it. I wish, though, that the battle scenes were more realistic; I don’t recall a drop of blood, even when the Witch slays Aslan. I’m not advocating all out gore. I just think it’s a bit dishonest to show sword play without the associated consequence. When someone gets stabbed or their head chopped off, there ought to be some bleeding. Overall, I guess it’s good but I wish it didn’t feel so much like a kids movie.

Work Issues

I walked into the restroom today at work to find someone sitting on the toilet nearest the door. Obviously not a surprise in a public restroom. In keeping with good restroom etiquette, I tried to ignore the man’s presence. Underneath the stall’s wall, though, I couldn’t help notice that, after sitting down, he had pushed his pants all the way onto the floor. The toe of his brown loafers barely peaked out of the lump of material.

As if the pants weren’t bad enough, this man had a mobile phone attached to his belt. Because the belt was looped through worthless belt loops that had become part of the general lump of material, gravity naturally pulled the phone to the ground. Accordingly, this phone, that would presumably soon be in the hands of the man sitting on the toilet, was resting casually on the floor of the men’s restroom.

I thought I would throw up as I considered that, if my phone accidentally fell on the floor of the restroom, I would be forced to throw it away or, at the very least, wipe it down with the hand sanitizer I keep at my desk.

Family Dynamics

Jennifer and I visited my family last weekend. We try to see my parents on a fairly regular basis but we went last weekend, in particular, because my sister, Deborah, and her family are visiting my parents. Deborah married her current husband, Matthew, after being married to her previous husband, Garth, for almost 20 years. From what I have observed, Matthew is a vast improvement.

At church on Sunday, for instance, Deborah and Matthew sang a duet. While they sang, she played the piano and he played the guitar. Deborah’s voice is really haunting much like Patty Griffin’s. I don’t mean to imply that she is as is good as Patty Griffin because, while she is pleasing to the ear, she isn’t as good as Patty; her voice is just characteristically similar. Matthew’s guitar strumming and deep bass was a nice complement.

When Deborah was married to Garth, he never wanted her to sing. Because it is her nature to get along with everyone, she complied with his wishes. He himself is a former church music minister and majored in music in college. He sings well technically. He doesn’t sing with any feeling, however, and, after hearing Deborah sing on Sunday, I wonder if his discouragement of her was out of jealousy.

Garth did many things deserving of scorn. As I sat and listened to Deborah and Matthew sing on Sunday, however, I became particularly angry at Garth for stifling her for so many years, and for robbing the world of a vocal quality that cannot be learned or reproduced. It’s not to say that she is not wholly blameless in the situation; she should have stood up for herself and gotten out of a bad situation long before she did. I’m just thankful that she has now moved on.

Previous Post – The Devil Wears Prada

I probably sounded like a big brat in my previous post. In many ways, I am blessed to have the job that I have. It’s just that, with all jobs, there are times when I don’t want to do the task at hand. I’ve definitely had worse.

Take for instance, a former boss I had who was never pleased, always manipulative and emotionally abusive. He was very much like Miranda Priestly, the tyrannical boss in The Devil Wears Prada. I can hear the snickers now but I am almost finished with the book.

Not long ago, I saw a preview of the movie. It’s coming to a theater near you in a couple of weeks. I like Meryl Streep and the preview was intriguing enough to influence me to read the book before I see the movie. I guess I’ll have a stronger opinion when I finish but I only have about 50 pages left and, while it’s no literary masterpiece, I’m glad I’m reading it.

I went back and looked at some of the reviews from when it was first published. One of the biggest criticisms is that the author, Lauren Weisberger, created the character of Miranda Priestly as too one dimensional and, thus, not believable. If I hadn’t worked with the aforementioned boss, I probably would have said the same thing. There truly are people like she describes, successful but so miserable that they make anyone and everyone miserable along with them. Their success, unfortunately, gives them the power to spread the misery. I’m absolutely serious that, with a change of venue from fashion to law, I have experienced many of the sorts of things that Weisberger describes. I don’t think that I could describe, as well as she did, the all encompassing feelings of self doubt, fear, and stress that accompany working for someone like Priestly.

Who would’ve thought that I would identify so much with a chick lit novel about fashion?

Sometimes…

…when I’m in the middle of reading a 40 page document filled with text about eminent domain, casualty, default, hazardous substances, liens, covenants, contingencies, subrogation, and indemnification, I wish I had gotten a degree in childhood development or physical education or art or physics or geology or architecture.

A Good Breakfast

Little Rock is, in my opinion, strangely devoid of quality restaurants for breakfast. Before the proprietors closed it down and transformed it into a hipster-friendly seafood joint, we frequently enjoyed breakfast at The Living Room on Kavanaugh. The selection was varied, the ingredients were high quality, and the preparation was done with care. Most importantly, the coffee was great and an abundance of non-fried selections were available.

Since it closed down for its transformation, we have not found any place that we enjoy half as much. After shunning it for reasons not related to the food, we returned to Satellite Café a couple of months ago and it has served us fairly well. I like it, but I don’t love it. I think the selection is limited and, unless you arrive at 8:00 on a Saturday or Sunday, the wait for a table is at least 20 minutes. That, in itself, isn’t a huge inconvenience except the dining area is so small that they have no real waiting area. I always feel as if I’m the uninvited guest of the parties sitting at the tables nearest the doors. Those tables happen to be raised to about the level of a bar such that, when standing next to someone sitting in the chairs, I am pretty much on eye level with them. It is uncomfortable.

I don’t say all that to disparage Satellite. If I were the owner, I wouldn’t move from the prime location he has. I also, in spite of the lack of a waiting area, think he has made the most out of the space he has. The food is great, especially the light, almost crepe-like omelets. The coffee is great. The service is great. I mention the downside of Satellite to emphasize how particular I am in choosing a restaurant for breakfast. It’s a bit ironic because I am not as finicky when it comes to other meals. I think it is rooted in my experiences with breakfast at Common Grounds in Fayetteville which were always heavenly.

This past Sunday, we went to Mimi’s Café in West Little Rock. Overall, it was a decent experience. We went around 10:30 and, while we had to wait for about 20 minutes, the waiting area is nice. They provide complimentary newspapers and coffee. I have generally found that complimentary anything is sub-par but the coffee was good; it wasn’t bitter at all. Once we were seated, the service was adequate though not stellar. Service, of course, is largely dependent upon the individual server and, based on my observations of tables near ours, I believe our server was below average for Mimi’s.

The food was good. I had what they call a Monterey Omelet. It is a three egg omelet filled with jack cheese and bacon strips with fresh avocado and salsa. It was okay. I would have enjoyed it more had it not been for the bacon. I didn’t read the menu closely enough when I chose because the bacon came in the omelet, literally still in strips. If it had been crumbled and put inside, I think I would have liked it more but, inside the omelet, I just found the strips weird. I mostly ate around them. My omelet came with fresh-squeezed orange juice, red-skin potatoes and a muffin. The orange juice was good (how could fresh-squeezed be bad), as was the muffin. I was disappointed in the potatoes, though. They had a weird seasoning, almost a ranch flavor that I did not get along with. Our total bill was around $25, including tip. In my experience that is about the same as other places in town.

In spite of the bacon and the potatoes, I definitely will try Mimi’s again. I will order something else (a table near ours ordered a Belgian waffle, topped with fresh fruit, that looked very appealing). It has a bit of the chain restaurant feeling to it but is light years better than IHOP (see my thoughts on IHOP here, if you are interested). I think my preference is still Satellite, but Mimi’s should provide some variety. We’ll also continue our quest to replace The Living Room.

What I’ve been doing with my free time lately

Last week, I rented some really good movies. I don’t recall the last time I rented and enjoyed this many movies in a row. Here is a short summary of each.

Memoirs of a Geisha
Rob Marshall created a beautiful movie and, in spite of the flack he received for casting Chinese actors in a film about Japan, the performances are great. Critics were lukewarm about it, but I was thoroughly entertained.

The New World
Speaking of beautiful movies…This is one of the most hauntingly beautiful movies I’ve seen in a while. I know very little of the real stories of John Smith, Pocahontas, and John Rolfe. Terrence Malick’s imagination of their stories, however, is tragically captivating. I don’t care that much for Colin Farrel but he was more than adequate as John Smith and, as always, Christian Bale is great as John Rolfe. The true stand out, though, is Q’Orianka Kilcher as Pocahontas. She is luminous as the favorite daughter of Powhatan, the chief of a powerful native american confederation. Her transformation is a metaphor for that of all native americans with the coming of Europeans. As a bonus, there is an interesting dvd extra about how they cast her.

Consistent with his style, Malick frequently overdubs his sweeping scenes with the internal monologue of characters. Some people find it annoying but I particularly enjoy the cinematic shots. I particularly enjoyed how, in the early parts of the film, he refuses to include subtitles when the native americans speak among themselves. It helped me identify with the confusion and frustration the English settlers must have felt in vainly trying to communicate.

Prime
Just a romantic comedy, but I enjoyed it. I like Meryl Streep and Uma Thurman and that may have influenced my perception of the movie. I laughed out loud at a couple of scenes. While I do not identify with May/December romance that propels the movie, I did identify with the weird family dynamics that inevitably result when you introduce a boyfriend/girlfriend to your family.

Thumbsucker
A great story about the weirdness of adolescence and young adulthood. I think everyone can identify with the title character’s discomfort in his own skin, and laugh at his triumphs and mistakes. I believe most people will also identify with the movie’s exploration of family relationships and the strangeness that often accompanies them. It’s packed with quality actors (Vincent D’Onofrio, Vince Vaughan, Tilda Swinton, Benjamin Bratt). Even Keanu Reeves, as a Zen practicing dentist, was tolerable (it’s a fairly minor role, don’t let Reeves’ presence dissuade you from seeing it). In creating the soundtrack, Mike Mills relied heavily on Elliot Smith whose mopey pop/rock anthems were perfect.

Anything but common

All of my work shoes are black; it may be boring but it makes coordination easier. As such, I keep three or four pairs at any one time to fight the monotony. Last weekend I bought a new pair. They are by Steve Madden and the style is called Common. Here is a picture:Because they are the most comfortable work shoes I have ever had, I cannot speak highly enough of them. I think they are technically classified as casual but they are dressy enough for the business casual dress code at my work. When I put them on the in the morning, my feet feel as if I were putting on sneakers. None of my other work shoes are uncomfortable; I will not abide by uncomfortable shoes. But none of them are comfortable like this.

Thank you Steve for my happy feet! Thank you Jennifer for talking me into buying them!

An Amalgam of Thoughts

Some things that have piqued my interest lately:

1. I saw this today on Yahoo News. Who knew that iPods would surpass beer in popularity on college campuses? I definitely understand why. I like beer as much as the next person but, if I had to choose between the two, I would go with the iPod. Listening to music on cds is so ‘90s

2. When I ran across this yesterday on the BBC website, I immediately thought of the Hamster because he loves some Courtney Love. I too have always had a small place in my heart for her and I have always liked her music. The comparisons to Yoko are, in my opinion, completely unfair. The two situations are totally different.

I liked the referenced article, especially in light of her hanging out with the Arctic Monkeys. She is old enough to be their mother and still cool enough to hang out with them. I really like the Arctic Monkeys cd incidentally. Their story is an interesting one in itself. They gained popularity in the UK by giving away their music free over the internet and at live shows. That’s another story altogether, though.

I hope Courtney stays clean so she can keep custody of Frances Bean and maybe make a little good music down the road.

3. I try not to talk about political issues too much on here because I know some people just don’t care to read it. This will be the second post in a row that I have tied to politics, but there are two issues lately that I just have to speak out about.

First, I also saw this article, about the proposed constitutional ban on gay marriage, on the BBC website yesterday. I really like the British perspective on U.S. political issues. They are definitely more unbiased than U.S. media because they are removed from the situation. Not the point. The point is that I am tired of politicians wasting their time and effort on worrying about gay marriage to pander to a vocal minority of voters. Don’t they have anything better to do? Isn’t there a war on? Shouldn’t someone be worrying about how to get our young men and women out of the war zone alive? Shouldn’t we be trying to find a cure for cancer, and aids? Aren’t aids and poverty in Africa just breeding more terrorists?

Don’t even get me started on Christians. It’s in the article but I was ashamed at what James Dobson has to say about the constitutional ban on gay marriage: “We won’t succeed but we are getting closer and I will continue this fight until the last breath has left my body!” Seriously? Does he know how hateful that sounds? I know you won’t read this, Dr. Dobson, but, if you do, I’d like to have a conversation with you about that statement.

Second, I think the proposed permanent repeal of the estate tax has once and for all and utterly turned me against the Republican party. I was formerly in their camp and, even as my political views have moved slowly to the left, I have found myself continuing to identify with some of their platform issues. But I cannot abide by such an obvious favor to the purely rich. The law currently in place allows someone to pass $4,000,000.00 tax free to his or her heirs. That’s right sports fans, $4 million dollars with no taxes. Only the wealthiest of the wealthy will ever be impacted by the estate tax as it currently exists. The Republicans want to do away with the estate tax forever. If they do, the divide between the ultra-rich and the poverty stricken will continue to grow. Not since the days of the robber barons has so much wealth been held by so few people as in the U.S. today.

Natalie Maines – Love her or hate her?

I used to dismiss the Dixie Chicks as a cute, pop/country mix; I found their music enjoyable enough but not really my style. Jennifer has always been a fan and, of course, bought their latest “Taking the Long Way.” I put it in on my iPod and have found myself keeping it in fairly constant rotation. It has a good deal of depth musically. It has the added bonus of having fairly clever and defiant lyrics. Take the following from the song “I Hope” as an example:

Sunday Morning, I heard the preacher say
Thou shall not kill
I don’t wanna hear nothing else about killing
And that it’s God’s will

‘Cause our children are watching us
They put their trust in us
They’re gonna be like us
So let’s learn from our history
And do it differently

I like that the song wraps a message of protest up with a compelling reason to change things.

I definitely respect them for not backing down in the face of opposition. Their defiance is greatest on “Not Ready to Make Nice.” When I heard this part of the song I was incredulous:

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I’d better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

Are you kidding me?!? I find it wholly ridiculous, though not unbelievable, that someone would send a death threat because she expressed a political opinion. While I do think that they may have been naïve in not thinking that people would react strongly, no one should suffer a death threat because of a political opinion. It is not an exaggeration to say that squelching descent and vilifying those who speak out as traitors has always been a tactic of totalitarian regimes. Whether or not you happen to agree with the things she says, I pray that everyone respects her right to say it.

Mable and the Blackbird

As we drove across Holiday Isle toward our condo, a bird flew across the road in front of our car. Jennifer asked me if I recognized what kind it was. An ornithologist I am not, but I happened to recognize the bird from encountering birds of the same species while fishing with my father on lazy summer afternoons. “It’s a Red-winged Blackbird. At least, that’s what I’ve always heard it called.” I made a mental note to read about it in my Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Birds when we got home.

When I did, I found that the proper common name is, in fact, the Red-winged Blackbird. Its scientific name is Agelaius phoeniceus. The species’ permanent range is the southern half of the United States, reaching south into central Mexico. Its preferred habitat includes marshes, swamps, and wet meadows. It will also nest in dry meadows or pastures, if necessary.

More interesting than information about a bird, though, was the impact the previous owner, my maternal grandmother whose name was Mable, had left on the book. After she died, the guide was one of the few personal effects of hers that I received. I’m not complaining, I do not hold many physical items in high regard. Books are an exception and, aside from the Bible and the odd magazine, the field guide is the only book I remember Grandma reading. She generally preferred soap operas or, as she called them, stories.

As I started flipping the pages of the guide to find the blackbird, it stopped on a page where Grandma had left a small scrap of notebook paper. On it were some scribbled notes that, among other things, read, “Eurasian Tree Sparrow. In bird house: mean.” The other notes were various descriptions of birds and their eggs.

The little piece of paper made me wonder what else she left in the guide. Upon further investigation, I found one other piece of notebook paper containing similar information. Also, on a couple of pages, she had written notes near the description of a species. For example, she underlined entry number 539, White-throated Sparrow, and wrote, “Not in Bird Box.” I continued flipping through the book and found a four leaf clover. I like to believe that she found it when, guide in hand, she happened across the clover one day when investigating birds in one of her bird houses, or, more likely, the eggshells that invariably fell to the ground in late spring after the baby birds had hatched.

Finding my grandmother’s notes and the clover obviously reminded me of her but it also reminded me how I had never known her that well. I believe the expanse of years and the impatience of my youth were contributing factors. We did, though, spend a fair amount of time together, sometimes extended amounts.

Once, when my mother had surgery, Grandma picked me up from kindergarten. She stayed with me, and cared for me, for a few days while Dad was with Mom at the hospital. I vividly remember climbing in the passenger’s side of her blue Oldsmobile and feeling the cold, slightly sticky, clear plastic of her seat covers. I could see the upholstery underneath, in the exact condition it had been the day the car had rolled off the lot. I hated those seat covers. They were uncomfortable and I always felt like it was a waste not to enjoy the fabric. But they were practical.

Grandma was always practical. At Christmas and birthdays, she always gave generous but useful gifts. Over the years, I specifically remember receiving several pairs of jeans, a watch, and a corduroy jacket. I think her practicality was rooted in surviving the Depression; she wanted to waste nothing because, without warning, times might be hard again. The Depression also influenced her politically; she was a lifelong Democrat. When I was growing up, I never understood why she disliked Reagan so much when my parents liked him. Ironically, now that I’ve formed my own political views, they are closer to her views than my parents.

Another time, when I was in high school, Grandma stayed with me while my parents had to be away for a couple of weeks. Other than cooking, she looked after me little as compared to the time I was in kindergarten. It was just before Christmas in 1991. Northwest Arkansas had a huge snowstorm that winter. We toughed it out together with wood heat. She stoked the fire early in the morning and would accompany me when I fed the cows their daily hay ration. I think she wanted to get out of the house. In the afternoon, we watched rented movies.

About mid-way through the time she was there, Grandma lost her dentures under the guest bed in which she slept. I helped her find them and, when I related the story to Mom, neither of us thought much about it. Sadly, though, it was one of the first symptoms of the Alzheimer’s that would soon consume her life. In less than two years, she didn’t recognize me or anyone. She lived in that sort of zombie-like, not-quite-a-vegetable state for 11 years.

Maybe she was aware of more than I think because I don’t know what else explains her body’s refusal to give up on life. Jennifer and I speculated about it a few times; maybe, we thought, her soul felt something was left unfinished in this life. Maybe it was to teach us, those that would survive her, some lesson. I hope that isn’t the case because her suffering for our education seems like a terrible price for her to pay. Still, I learned from her illness to be grateful for every day in which I have full control of my faculties and for the relationships I have with those I love.

Somewhat sadly, I hadn’t thought of Grandma much since her funeral around two years ago; she hadn’t been an active part of my life for over ten years before her death. It’s ironic how a blackbird that Jennifer and I happened to see, while on vacation in Florida, reminded me.

J.J. Abrams Is a Miracle Worker

I just went to see Mission Impossible 3. J.J. Abrams did what I thought was not possible; he made me forget what a weirdo Tom Cruise is and made an entertaining movie. It didn’t hurt that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was cast as the bad guy. He was perfect.

In my opinion, the movie balanced just enough character development to keep me interested in the fate of a few key characters with action and superb pacing to keep me on the edge of my seat. If you like a good action movie, I recommend this one.